Fragile; This Way Up

this is me, i guess..

i think my leg and feet has issues with me.. i was ponderin, one day while i was at the bus stop waitin for the bus to go home, why must it always be the leg..? check out the list:

1. secondary 3, i fractured my left shin.
2. i was 23, i fractured both my heels and lower spine.
3. earlier this year, i tore the skin of my right foot.
4. a month ago, i fractured my left big toe. [and i only found out about it 3 weeks after i fell..!]

sir desmond was right to have given me the 'Most Fragile Cadet' certificate back then.. if i knew these were goin to happen, i would have insured my legs years ago.. hahahaha..!

then again, i did fracture my left arm when i was 4..

i am a walkin disaster..!

**what's up with me and fallin, man..?

please allow me..

I HATE MY JOB..!

is it wrong to express myself in words that i hate my job..?

for what it's worth..

a journey unfilled with happiness,
as taken away by wrath and displeasure..
muted by guilt thus truly ominous,
a hope to break free, a melancholic desire..

through the glass pane, time ticks away
obstinacy prevails,
the enigma of fate..?

diminish the fear..
relinquish the tear..

return the days of glory again..
i miss being on top of the world each and everyday when i step into the office, knowin that i will be doin somethin great for someone and that people depend on me..

the fear of failure..
the nerves to numbness..
to succumb to the reality,
is
to fade one's existence..
it is mundane now and i feel myself fallin into the darkest pit hole EVERY SINGLE DAY..!

and solitude empathizes,
the fool's fate and faith
but where shall the arrows fly..?
the smiling facade
with
the bleeding heart..
i have to pretend that everythin is alright and that this will not last long.. BUT THIS IS NOT TRUE..!

embalm the memories..
to ignite the passion
or
outgrow the endeared
with disdain to the entity..?
I JUST WANT TO DO WHAT I LIKE TO DO AND WHAT I'M GOOD AT.. i am reminded of all the fun times when i was still doin my previous job and the ease that i feel and when i feel tired after a day's work, i know that i did a good job..

**one of these days i know i will break and i will have to face the fact that i'm stuck here.. i just hate my job.. please..

yielding to..?

the fear of failure..
the nerves to numbness..
to succumb to the reality,
is
to fade one's existence..

and solitude empathizes,
the fool's fate and faith
but where shall the arrows fly..?
the smiling facade
with
the bleeding heart..

embalm the memories..
to ignite the passion
or
outgrow the endeared
with disdain to the entity..?

for what it's worth..

for what it's worth..

a journey unfilled with happiness,
as taken away by wrath and displeasure..
muted by guilt thus truly ominous,
a hope to break free, a melancholic desire..

through the glass pane, time ticks away
obstinacy prevails,
the enigma of fate..?

diminish the fear..
relinquish the tear..

return the days of glory again..