angel baby

9 weeks, 3 days,
the only time you lived Baby...
i hate to let you go
but it's not time for you yet...
as sad as i am, i LOVE you lots
& so does Papa...
forgive me for not welcoming you dear
forgive Papa too for his negligance...
the whole time i had you, you've been good, Baby...
no fuss, no ailment, no trouble...
a God-sent that we can't have
it's a shame...
we love you, Baby...
[dedicated to 'an angel' unseen.. God bless it's soul in Heaven]

change of plans...


didn't go to KL.. the guys couldn't agree on certain things like where to go, when to leave for S'pore etc..etc.. i juz went wit the flow so wen FaiZal called the whole thing off, i juz had to agree.. instead, FaiZal, me, SaLikiN & his gerl, iKa went to SenTosa (again..) for an overnyt trip.. sunburn on my shoulders & my nose.. damm..

i myt be quittin my job @ O'Briens.. i'm beginnin to hate it there.. hate the crowds, hate the customers (not all though..), hate the management... i hate feelin tired everyday after werk.. got a recommendation fr iDaDi @ her werkplc.. hope i can juz leave soon.. *SiGh*

a life in form
as small as can be
tossin & turnin
uncomfortable it seems..

i'll write in soon... once i have the free tym.. btw, i'm goin for a small operation tmr (19th april 2005)... pray for me frens..

troubled..?


in deep shit.. it's really not my fault.. REALLY! i didn't ask dat 17 year old boy to fall head over heels wit me..! i'm absolutely innocent.. :( rashad.. rashad.. *HaIz* juz wished my pc wuz ok. it's damm troublesome for me to login from net cafes you noe..

so far so good.. still in luv wit my FaiZaL.. erm.. the sYeD one... hehehe~ he's kindda strict abt some stuffs but on the whole, dat's a good thing. he doesn't encourage me to smoke. in fact, weneva i do, he always has dis really fierce, "don't-push-it" look.. dat's enuff to make me put out my fag.. hehehe~ he doesn't encourage clubbin & drinkin too.. GoSh.. i've a good life boy!

juz healed a rift between me & BB.. after more den a month later, we finally found tym to sit down and we talked about differences.. turns out, she wuz pissed dat i wuzn't spendin time wit her as we usually do.. damm i missed her.. :( always on the opposite shift from her.. how? but now everythin's resolved & back to usual for us.. in fact, she's here wit me now.. hehe~ be back soon.. ;)

HAPPY 21ST TO MY s|zziE..~

it's dinnertime @ prego yesterday..! The contigent consisted of BB, faz, MuMMy, aShaD, aYanG, me, BB's godsister n her fiance.. WoaH..! the bill came up to $356.07..! but it's ok.. once in a while we pamper ourselves to EXPENSIVE food.. khehehe.. ;) aShaD said i luked lovely & sHweeT..! hahahahaha..! & aYanG wuz wearin a shirt sey..

called s|zzie on the dot @ midnyt juz now.. it's her 21st burfdae..!!

well, had a great tym yesterday.. really njoyed myself.. mum & dad were cool abt my comin home late.. before i left, instead of the normal "jangan balik lambat eh..", mum said "malam ni balik eh.." so unlyk them..

silver linin'...

it's funny how sumthin special cud haf developed between us.. i barely noe him & vice versa yet the understandin between us is there.. i noe it's still early to really tell but [ONCE AGAIN] i tink i'm in love again.. initially i wuz afraid it might turn out to a rebound as it usually does but as day passes, this cute, chubby, lovable guy never fails to make my day..

it's rainin men..! [as if..]

it's been rainin heavily lately n the weather's been very cruel... werk's ok... had a small misunderstandin at werk but dat's already solved...goin off to KL dis friday till sunday... gonna mish my SunShine..!

aniwae, i didn't go Raya-ing as much as i did the previous years before.. only went to SunShine's open house, his frens' houses & for the "Grand Finale", i went out wit Singles_Out... dat's it...

Singapore Idol: now he's BIG-HEADED already... who u ask me? who else?? Taufik Batisah.. Ungrateful *toot* *toot*..!! 2 weeks after the final results, already actin ya-ya.. huh! who does he think he is? he's only the Singapore Idol yet he's actin as if he's the World's Biggest Superstar..! i regret votin for him & supportin him from the beginnin... if i knew he's gonna act cold towards the people who were wit him from the start, i wudn't have backed him up wenever people said things about him... watever it is, everythin's over now & i dun wanna hear another thing about Singapore Idol from anyone... n i mean ANYONE..!

for our anniversary, we got ourselves FOSSIL watches..! luv u so much, sweetie.. *MuAkZ!* will upload new pics soon includin those of my favourite niece... Puteri Quraisyah...

Selamat Hari Raya

so sori to all... i haven't been updatin so dun mind the long entry...

had a blast few weeks back wen i met up wit the Singles_Out sistas for break fast [which didn't really happen.. khehehe..] went shoppin wit a'Ne @ ikea & the things there..! TERBELIAK KEJAP MATA AKU! lyk s|z said in her blog, to cut the story short please refer to a'Ne's blog for further detail.. khehehe.. sweet a'Ne gave us 2 cute gifts each & her Hari Raya card is so the touchin also.. [well, only eBoo's & s|z's lah.. myn is funny..] lukin foward to goin out wit u gerls again.. still missin those tyms we spent back in school.. *SiGh*

well, dis year's Raya is a bit special to me.. on the mornin of the first day, guessed hu wuz the first person hu appeared at my door? none other den my SunShine.. khehehe.. datang dgn mangkok tingkat, dalam ade sambal sotong, rendang ayam [i think] & sumthin else which i dun remember.. :p mum & dad were cool about it & dat's really a relief on my part.. my relatives hu don't really talk to me suddenly had a change of mind & they were talkin to me as if we had been good frens for years.. people change.. wat do u expect, right?

ok people.. got to go.. will try to update as soon as possible ya? take care darlings...

testin my patience..?

haiz.. wat a day.. for 4 mths+ i've werked at o'briens & nvr had i requested for a tuesday off n guess wat? irene gave me a last minute tuesday off... i dun really blame her u see.. yesterday, the new gerl, Teana, came in as usual for werk but dier nye lembab... Ya Allah..! as usual, i wuz doin cashier n of all people, Teana had to partner me doin coffee... i didn't mind [at first] but after she corked-up a bloody "FEW" drink orders, i told myself "DAT'S IT!! I HAD ENUFF!!" i didn't mean to but i shouted at her, for the first tym, in front of the queuein customers but she juz luked at me wit her blur face & pretended lyk as if i didn't say anythin..! darah gue naik beb..!i threw a few of the saucers into the sink, slam-dunkked a few teaspoons as well & dat made irene worried & after lunch, she had a slow talk wit Teana & she wuz immediately sacked... *SiGh* so dat's the reason y irene gave me a last minute off today...

a very late hepi burfdae to my dancin queen, aYuNe... sori gerl... i wuz really caught up wit werk & wit my hp cut off, i really forgot abt ur burfdae... hoped u had a great one...

GOSH..! erm... any ideas wen the Singles_Out gerls r breakin fast together? if any of u read dis, do call me at home ya? i really mish u guys...

suspended...

now my account has really been suspended... writin in from my werkplace now... actually not in the mood to write in but since i haven't been fillin in lately i tot wat the heck ryt? hectic day at werk everyday but i'm not complainin... my hp's been suspended so guys, dun waste ur hp bill by callin or msgin me... juz gimme a call at hm if u need to get me aight? im goin off now so i'll write in again wenever i'm free... adios...

updates

had a great tym at the chalet last saturday..! ismail wuz there, aBg DzuL & yaNNy wuz there, anisa & amima wuz there, the peepZ fr miLLenia & airport T1 wuz there, SunShine's frens were there, aYuL's frens were there & MOST IMPORTANTLY aYuL wuz there.. started cookin fr 6+ till abt 11.30 & by dat tym we were all so tired already.. so sad dat some of my pals weren't around.. :( my SinGles_Out gerls cudn't make it, iDa & aPuL cudn't make it, azman cudn't make it & aZa & JaCk cudn't make it.. wud haf been more fun if they came.. spent so much money for the chalet, i dun noe if my acct balance can last till my next pay.. khehehe~

anyway, already received my confirmation letter & i had an increment of $80 thanx to my beloved manager, irene & darlin PA, christina.. *MuAkZ!* luv u guys.. goin to TCS again later to watch the SG IdoL thingy.. will be supportin [as usual] my aBg.. all the best bro..!

haven't got any piX to put up for the chalet but for those hu came, i'm really glad u all cud make it.. thanx for makin the chalet a success..

if i ain't got u [part II]...

What's a day without light, if the Sun is gone?
What's a piece of cloth, if it's tattered & torn?
What's the use to smile, if the heart's forlorn?
Thus there's no point for this life to go on...

I'M SORRY BABY...

Hard to please, this heart I knew
A man so fine but yet so few
How can I get him back again?
Without havin to inflict him with pain
I LOVE HIM DEARLY WITH ALL MY HEART
Never thought we had to part
I knew I was wrong but I realise it now
I just want him back but please tell me how??
My SunShine's gone, dark clouds appear
Without him around, I'm filled with fear
Please forgive me one time, one more
Cuz baby, you're the SunShine that I adore...

[Parody] Singles_Out

went to watch VoiceOut 2004 wit mOther & s|z last wednesday.. wen back to nyp & met up wit dem.. GOSH how i miss dem!! too bad a'Ne wuzn't there.. *SiGh* the incomplete Singles_Out.. aniwae, the whole thing wuzn't dat bad onli wen it got to the results, we were quite stunned.. STUPID B.E.P WANNABES!! the a capella shud have won damm it.. the judges were fr some bands which i dun remember wat the names were unlyk us wen we had jeremy ratnam fr power 98 & ours wuz held at the auditorium unlyk dis yr where it wuz held at the TFA..

mOther.. there are people HU CARES FOR U..! & 1 of dem is ME..! dun ever say dat again..

well, gotta go now.. will be back soon.. adios..

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day...

aBg fiQue made it to the top 10..! yeah! way to go BrO..! went down to mediacorp studio to watch him last thurs & at first i really felt awkward wit his frens ard cuz they were 'not my kindda frens' [if u noe wat i mean...] but after the results were out, i wuz so exhilarated dat i forgot faiZaL wuz actually sittin beside me.. khehehe~ sorry SunShine.. gonna upload a few pix taken on dat day but unfortunately, i wuzn't able to take any of aBg or my other frens hu actually took part also in the show..

hola..

sorry babes.. been thru so many things dat i cudn't actually find the tym to fill up my blog.. i tot my internet acct has been suspended aniwae..

~ my relationship? onli does people hu saw it will noe..
~ my werk? so far so good.. i'm missin jay, irene's better now, customers' gettin BeE & me confused, thinkin we're sisters & my sister's werkin part tym @ o'briens.. rarely talk to Michael nowadays.. we're 'driftin apart' i guess :p
~ my frens? i'm missin all of 'em ryt now... *SiGh*

will be goin to mediacorp later to watch the s'pore idol [3rd grp] results & the wildcard... juz hope aBg fiQue gets thru dis one...

catch y'all later... gotta go get ready now.. promised to mit faiZaL @ tamp by 4...

burn

damm i hate my hair colour now... stupid jay... ask to do sumthin simple & he "burnt" the colour of my hair... FUCKIN SHIT! seems dat SunShine really doesn't lyk it... watever...

i hate it wen people go thru my things without tellin me...
i hate it wen people call me a liar wen i'm not...
i hate it wen people pretend to trust me wen they don't...
i hate it wen people make me feel guilty for sumthin i didn't do...
I HATE U...!

if i ain't got you...

dilemma... it suX... been dreamy lately... *HaiZ*

irene's [my manager] quittin, reggie's [my supervisor] gonna transfer to another outlet, BeE's [my colleague] quittin also & jay's [my next-block-neighbour cum colleague also] leavin for NS soon... hu's left?

aniwae, we didn't get thru to Perdana finals but dat's not the end of the world, well not for my world... in my opinion, we did a great set as compared to saringan but me & iDaDi have decided to "retire" from the dikir world... personally, it wuz great to be able to play my last competition in the same group wit her... sumthin which i've always wanted... never got to play alongside wit her as awok2 before since yr 2000..!

shockin news for me... met a good old fren hu i've lost contact wit 6 yrs ago @ the competition... & to tink dat dis fren still remembers me after all these yrs... told me my luks haven't change at all [well, except for the fact dat i'm no longer the chubby gerl dis fren once knew...] had eye contact a lot of tyms at different occasions but never really had the chance to come up & say hi to me... *HaiZ*

but..! the important thing here is... i'm missin all my frens...

"Some people want it all
But i don't want nuthin at all
If it ain't u baby
If i ain't got u baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some juz want everythin
Everythin means nuthin
If i ain't got u..."

*if only i cud get aBg fiQue to do dis song wit me... i wish...

you don't miss your water 'til the well runs dry...

wit all the news abt death lately, i'm gettin all worried abt my family, my SunShine, my Singles_Out & all of my other frens out there... what will i do if one day any one of them were to leave? i dun wanna tink abt it ryt now...

tmr RaJa & ZaLi's treatin us [as in me & SunShine, irene & guy, ain & azmi] dinner... no particular occassion, juz a simple dinner treat...

aniwae, now i noe why my dearest darlin MiChaeL hasn't been turnin up at o'briens lately..! he wuz off to australia last week & he even had a haircut..! he luks so much cuter now..! khehehe~ gosh..! i'm obssesed wit my favourite customer... dun mind me SunShine... you're still my favourite boy... *WiNkZ!*

MuM's 45th birthday

left early from werk today cuz we're havin dinner @ piZZa HuT at MuM's request... she wanted to try the tortilla thingy & since it's her birthday tomorrow, we decided to haf an early birthday dinner... gave her present [the crystal vase] yesterday & i kindda loved the way she smiled wen she opened up the present... haven't seen her smile lyk dat for a long tym... tomorrow, she's gonna get her birthday cake & i juz realized dat her birthday dis yr is so much better compared to the past years... guessed the guilty conscience of not buyin her presents for the past years juz got lifted there khehehe~

yesterday went jewellery shoppin wit MuM & aYuL..! khehehe~ got myself a new ring, a new bracelet & a pair of new earring... speakin of early prep for my cousin's weddin! gosh how tym really flies... one moment she's my 'still-single & always-there-for-me' cousin & the next moment she's someone else's wife... it's gonna be so different...

btw, congrats to SunShine on his recent promotion to supervisor... :)

thousand apologies...


sorry guys.. pc havin fever again khehehe~ anyway, have been bz lately too... haven't had enuf rest fr werk but i won't be complainin if i wanna promotion ryt? *WiNkZ* too bad my entry's a short one today but i'll try my very best to fill 'em up soon aight?