contemplation

contemplation

it sucks..

BiG time..

it feels like they want to chase me out of this place..

*SiGh*

no worries.. maybe it means that i have to buck up.. or maybe i have to look for a greener pasture..?

**help me..

Beraya Bersama SinGLes_OuT '07

Salam Lebaran

Salam Lebaran

what a way to celebrate my Hari Raya this year..! "Great minds think alike.." that's what he said.. Guess who my Hari Raya date this year is..?



TA DA..!

yeap.. my one & only aBaNG.. *sigh* it was so funny because just as he reached MaMa's door & i turned around to greet him & MaK NoR, our jaws dropped & we pointed our fingers to each other & went like "Hey..!!" it was so hilarious..

this year's Hari Raya is pretty special.. sunday i actually went visitin with my brothers & also not forgettin my married sister.. *sigh* how i missed those childhood times.. it's been a couple of years since we last had a group outin.. normally we'd go visitin as individual families (which really sucks)..

yesterday i met aZMaN & i super-love his new haircut..! makes him look more serious than before, i have to say, but he's still the crazy MONG-ster that i know..

we had a sucky monday evenin, unfortunately, but there was a lesson that one of us has learnt from this "trick He played on us"..

**love you sayang..

appease

appease

overly excited.. that was how i felt yesterday, knowin that i'll be meetin the S_O ladies for iftar.. it's one of those gatherings that you look forward to each year where you'll get together for dinner or over coffee & fill one another in about what's happenin in our lives..

it's a meaningful one for me this year.. it's probably the 1st meet-up that we actually sat down after dinner & had serious conversations.. may it be a learnin process for us, now that we've learnt the meanin of true friends..

ladies, thank you for not being judgemental.. thank you for the understandin that you've showed.. 5 more months to our 5th aNNiVeRSaRy..

**today i woke up with a heavy heart.. last night i couldn't get to sleep.. i'm bearin the feelin of guilt & i don't know what to do..

i don't know if it's a good idea to call you..
i don't know if it's best to leave you alone..
all i know is that i'm very sorry & i'm hurtin inside because i really don't know what to do..

Getaway..!

Getaway..!



check out the pics from the links.. courtesy of iDaDi [most of it..]

i had the BESTEST weekend ever..! i had my 2 BESTEST buddies & my sister with me, chillin out at the porch, watchin the torch from the garden die one by one, doin silly things & laughin ourselves crazy.. what more can i ask for..?

my parents & my brother left for JB on friday.. iDa, my sis & myself left on saturday afternoon & we reached at about 6.30pm.. it was a long ride to the house.. slow movin traffic delayed the normally-2 hours-max journey but it was worth it.. we got donuts, ayam madu& soft drinks.. MuM cooked fishball soup & rendang daging & she also bought some other snacks.. gosh.. i can't continue..

after breakin fast, we sat around the living room & watch tv.. i was waitin in anticipation for aZMaN to arrive.. i thought he'd probably reach latest by 9.30pm but he was stuck at the JB immigration.. i shan't elaborate here though..

i think i'll stop here.. let the pictures do the talkin..

my wonderful weekend

my wonderful weekend

he cooked dinner last saturday.. i came over & had dinner with the family..

PhEw..!

i survived.. they are really nice folks.. am so lookin forward to meetin them again.. well, that would make it this thursday then.. hehe..

we went crazy at Plaza Singapura on sunday.. we bought baskets for my room, flowers for my mum & phone for the house.. not forgettin shoes, pants & shirts for him.. [somebody's got to look smart for work now so he has to dress accordingly..] we did all this for a full 6 hours..! as i've told you before dear, i never knew shoppin can be so fun..

conspiracy

conspiracy

had a fun "MonteSSori" last wednesday.. headed down to East Coast for dinner which was, to me, a little unconventional.. he made dinner so it didn't really matter to me what i was actually stuffin down my guts..

the moon was full, the wind was just nice & the weather was perfect..



i really enjoy havin conversations with him.. i love his company.. i appreciate his thoughts.. i like the attention.. hehe..~

just as you thought everythin was perfect, the ex-es had to ruin everythin..! conspiracy..?

one was tryin to rub salt into the wound while the other one was tryin hard to find fault.. tough luck suckers.. you guys have got to try much, much harder than that, right love..? it got us thinkin, why must the both of them "appear" at the same time..?

the ex-es from hell..

happy 21st to my One & Only SISTeR..!!

happy 21st to my One & Only SISTeR..!!

finally she's 21 but still not grown up yet.. you know what i mean.. haha.. even my mum said so..

aZMaN & me got her a Nike watch, not exactly the white one that she wanted but a smaller version which came in baby blue & purple.. i know she doesn't like it as much as the white one but what say does she have, right..? hehehe.. aDiK got her "Restaurant Empire".. cool game, haven't tried but will soon.. BaBa & MuM got her 2 pairs of jeans & unfortunately i can't fit into them.. darn it.. can't share.. we had a small celebration, pizza for dinner & a chocolate truffle cake..

anyway, here's VaNeSSa buried in namecards last Friday.. enjoy..!

you made my day..

you made my day..

as you've mentioned in your msg to me this morning, we did spent the weekend together.. i wouldn't have realised it if you hadn't told me..

anyway, thank you for droppin by yesterday with the wonderful tikka/butter chicken i'm so glad you could make it to break fast with my family.. when's my turn..? hehehehe...

*5 more weeks to our lil' getaway...

**i love you, dear...

my significant half..

my significant half..

i was not angry when i wrote yesterday's entry... i guess some of you thought that i was.. hehe.. as i mentioned, i was just tryin to get my msg across to that SIGNIFICANT someone.. you know who you are..



last saturday, we went to the National Museum to catch a Japanese movie.. i don't know exactly what the genre of the movie was but i did find it quite hilarious [& ended just in time for us to break fast..] & as how aZMaN put it as "witty for an old movie"..

lookin forward to more visits & outings with you..! don't forget our date to the Arts Museum this friday dear.. after which we shall have delicious naan [i'll have the garlic ones], tandoori chicken & ice kacang for dessert.. we can then go to Dome & make fun of the baristas there.. do make me a latte this time dear..? i don't want another flat white..

**i love you, sayang..

stupid assumptions...

stupid assumptions...

everyday i keep tellin you the same thing.. over & over again till your ears can't take it, your brain just want to scream "I GET THE MSG!" but i can't help it.. it's just like 50 First Dates, i wake up fallin in love with you all over again.. i can't get enough of you & it doesn't help that time's not always on our side...

over time, i've learnt the meanin of patience & resistance but to put it into practice with you, it's pretty hard.. your irresistible & i have limited patience.. 6 years (3 years, minus the disappearances, engagements etc..) of waitin & hopin is more than enough to drive 1 crazy..

if fate was unfair, we won't keep meetin each other at the oddest situations.. think about it.. what's the odds of us bumpin into each other, when either of us was engaged & havin issues with each other's partners, TWICE? i'm her nemesis & he's threatened by your presence, how perfect was that?

enough said..

2nd day

2nd day

*yawns*

it's 3:48pm & here i am sittin in AiDa's seat feelin sleepy & helpless.. TGIF..!

i can't help it & it's only the 2nd day of Ramadan..! i don't like the new lady here.. she's just so annoying..

i'm sorry

i'm sorry

sometimes things don't look as easy as they may seem. you may think that the person you've been with or have known for the longest time may know you inside out & vice versa but that's not the case for many..

you might know what her favourite colour is or how he takes his coffee but there might be small details that could have been left out.. funny as it may seem but even a couple who's been married for 20 or even 30 years have their own fair share of differences and squabbles..

all i'm tryin to put across is that you should never assume that you know everythin & what everyone thinks & feels.. i did & i learnt my lesson..

i'm sorry my dear..

left & right

left & right

waited for more than a year for my 23rd birthday wish to come true...






the ESSENTIAL 2 that i can't live without..

crazy monster..!

crazy monster..!

i had an incredible weekend..! managed to take my mind off a couple of stuffs including the pain on Friday... had a magnificent Saturday morning, fantastic afternoon & a lovely evening... so many things to do yet so little time but at least the time didn't pass by as fast as my lunch time...

i finally got to go to Sentosa after so long... have to go before the fasting month starts... i've never had the chance to go due to circumstances & somebody's personal preferences but now i can finally enjoy the things that i've always loved doing..

fill in later..

speechless..

tired-ness

tired-ness


Bowling Day..

exhaustion:

- mentally
- physically
- emotionally

that's it.. lookin forward to the short break on the 7th of september.. hopefully it'll help clear the grey clouds in my head..

heard my aBaNG has a show there, happened that there's tickets available & my parents told me to accompany them so why not.. jeez.. now i feel like a lamp post.. thanks to my parents..

i feel like givin up.. on what..? EVERYTHIN! complications has been aroused.. misunderstandings has been created.. that's why i'm tired..! overrated but who cares..

is it so hard to put things back how there were before..? is it so hard to grasp the concept of communicatin & understandin each other..? is it so difficult for you to actually STOP THINKIN ABOUT YOURSELF & BE CONSIDERATE TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU..? i don't want to talk about this anymore.. i've tolerated long enough.. i swallowed my pride, thinkin that i was makin the right move by being with you but you have disappointed me.. how do we work this out..?

i don't know

& i don't want to know...

monday morning...

monday morning...

what a way to start the week.. woke up to a cold weather, no mood whatsoever to work.. *sigh* AiDa's on leave today because her daughter's down with chicken pox, that poor girl...

"share"'s went up today but as usual, it came with a price.. Derwent started with us today & the guys who were supposed to fix the wall ports & set up the switch ports delayed their arrival.. it was set tentatively in the morning but was delayed until the end of the day.. was playin hide & seek with the guy in charge.. he called whenever i was away from the desk & i kept emailin him & insisted that he replied to them but as stubborn as i was, he never did..! jeez!

staggered lunch became a "grab-&-go" with Van buyin lunch for AuDReY who never left her seat, mannin to the board.. we took turns coverin the board.. there was always somethin to do..

stupid internet connection...
stupid HK server...
stupid laptops...
stupid cables...

another month..

another month..

firstly, i would like to CONGRATULATE my dearest Dancin' Queen on her engagement on the July 7, 2007.. (i know.. i know.. i'm 10 days late..)

i have been overwhelmed at work & i'm beginnin to feel as if life has ran out of fun.. that is where the long vacation comes in.. *ehem..* i'm wonderin if i could even find a suitable time to take a long leave.. *sigh..*

i don't know if i should continue on like this.. maybe i don't manage my time well or maybe there's just too much work.. i don't know.. i miss shifts.. i miss flats.. i miss jeans & t-shirts.. there are opportunities here but i feel like i'm being hindered.. i can't find the courage to stand up for myself.. this is probably not my forte.. i get mad when it happens but i just don't know how to retaliate..

jeez.. it's 2 weeks to my 1st year anniversary workin here but feels like just yesterday that i stepped into these heels & threw on a powersuit to work..

it's just not me..

there was somethin that i needed to pour out but it slipped my mind.. next time..

**i'm resigned to the fact that i will take forever to put up pictures here.. procrastinate..

***i love my HuBBy..

I made the mistake...

I made the mistake...

i want to PUBLICLY APOLOGIZE to my other half for recklessly hurtin his feelin...

i was such a BITCH & i admit it...

i shouldn't have kept in contact with ANYONE in the 1st place... knowin he's the very jealous type, what was i thinkin..??

i'm positive that nothin can make up for the mistake that i did & i can understand if he doesn't want to forgive me... given the situation, i would have gotten pissed too... i don't want to point out mistakes here but when things happen, they happen for a reason.. don't you think so..?

whatever your perception is about me now, i don't really care because i know what i did & i don't want to look at the past & brood over it...

relive the moment..

relive the moment..

went shoppin with aYuL last saturday & she bought 2 tops, 2 dresses & a pants.. all these for the same price of a G2000 suit..! can you imagine..?

anyway, things are gettin a little mundane & i don't know how long it's goin to last.. plannin to go for a short getaway in July with my bestie but nothin is confirmed for now..

i've got pictures up in Shutterfly but i've to sort them out & re-arrange them before i can officially put the album up.. 400+ pictures..! jeez..!

TAURUS WOMAN

TAURUS WOMAN

A slim and moderately tall woman. Taurus woman is funny and jolly. Square facial bone structure, high cheek bone. Her round big eyes sparkle with wit and curiosity. You will not see many round faces Taurus women, and mainly she will have a strong jaw line.

She is a constantly changing person. If she's upset, she will not show it and will keep it to herself for a long time, and will remember them so well. If she gets really mad at you, you will suddenly become a totally and completely stranger to her.

She is a patient person, but always need new excitement. She hates long talk meeting, long and endless conversation. She can be in love with you today, and one day she could act as if she has never loved you before. She has patience with what she wants to do and will never give up until she gets there. She will be very persistent in what she is doing till she has reasons for stopping her project, then she will quit.

Money for Taurus woman is not the most important factor in life. She thinks of money as an instrument for assuring of a good living. She has more satisfaction in achieving her goals more than satisfaction in fine cloths and luxuries. If you like a woman who always thinks of love and romance, then you are dating the wrong girl. You cannot tell her to stay at home, she likes to work and prefers not to work at home.

She loves animals and likes to be surround by animals. Love is in her head, but Freedom is in her soul. She has her own idea about love and afraid to show her true feeling for fear of rejection. She is not the type to talk about love, but she sure has a strange way to show it. She is not good in showing when she is in love, but if she loves you she will be honest to you than any other women.

She will be honest to her loved one, but at the same time seems distant. You will have a good relationship with her, if you allow her freedom. Do not force her to be with you in a poker game which she hates, but let she goes out swinging with her friends if she wants to. She will be different than other girls, and she thinks different is one of her unique quality. She is a public figure but belongs to no one. She will not stay with you, if she thinks you are not sincere. She likes you to have personality, but better not to compete with her. Love her, but not too much for she afraid it will be limiting her freedom.

She always stands out of the crowd for something she dares to do. You could see her dress like a poor farmer dinning in the fancy restaurant, or dress like a nun in an a cocktail dress party. If you are a politician who is looking for a wife, she will make a good one because she is cleverly smart and she can get along socially with any type of crowds.

She is not a jealous type because she has to know you thoroughly before accepting you in her life. She has more curiosity in life than wondering if right now you are flirting with someone else. If you keep a distant from her, or go away for a few days, she will miss you more. Even when she is dating you, she is also able to be fond of someone else, if you do not have something she is looking for. She will never disappoint you or hide behind your back to make you lose face, but she is the type who just going to tell you to your face that "We're better off breaking up".
She always remembers her first love. Taurus woman holds the best record for divorce for she does not care about how people think of her, but everything should be done for "Happiness".

She has lots of friends and sure of herself, so you will hardly see she delays any of her thoughts before her action. If she thinks of something, she will go ahead and do it. She has many men wanting her for her constant changes is the challenge. She can be cute and funny, but suddenly cool and tough. She has her own style of dressing up, so you could see her dress like an old maid today, and tomorrow she may dress like she comes from Mars. She will have that interesting hair, dress and a look unique from anyone else.

She likes to learn about your dreams and your thoughts. She has fun teasing you and making jokes. If she did something wrong, she won't hide it from you, but do not ask when she is not in the mood to talk about it. She hates to owe people money and takes promise seriously. If you promise to pay her back, you'd better pay up.

If you want to make it with Taurus woman, then do not be jealous or possessive, do not be narrow-minded, do not criticize about nonsense or small and insignificant matters. Try to like her friends and let she has her privacy, then she can be very sweet to you.