wont say goodbye tho..


& there he goes.. off to canada.. it's not the end though.. we shall see each other again.. i noe we will.. hear fr u soon stevie..

here i am, sittin at home, in front of the pc feelin drowsy & nursin a fever.. it has been 2 1/2 days already.. temperature's gradually droppin.. it reached a high of 39.2 degrees on wednesday nyt till thursday afternoon.. well, got 2 days off fr werk.. missed trainin sessions bcuz of my fever but they already have a replacement now.. i'm terribly sorry gerls.. mayb i missed my BaBy toO much.. or mayb i had too much on my mind lately.. i'll stick wit the first one..

speakin of which, i tink my BaBy's lost some weight.. he luks smaller than usual.. hope he's eatin ryt.. he told me he's only eatin once a day now.. must try to see him more often.. i am gettin worried for him.. hhmmm...

dreading..


24TH JUNE 2005--why?

ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER..
trust these words.. they can save u from misery.. it's true..! i've nvr been apart fr my BaBy for dis long before.. fortunately for me it's juz a week.. any longer & it will drive me crazy.. bought a matchin cloth for him to make his baju kurung for dis year's raya.. we're wearin green..! eat dat, WiYaH..! khehehe~ got some other colours as well [includin a royal blue lace wit silver lining & a cream songket] but tinkin of savin dem for 2006's raya.. wat say u?

the hse is gonna be renovated soon.. i'm gonna get new floorin, new bathrooms & most important of all, i'm gettin a new room.. ;) the long process of a month.. *SiGh* patience.. all's well by next mth..

aniwae, i've got a course on the 26th dis mth [or 10th july].. some Customer Service related stuff.. hehehe~ dat's xtra $100 for me..! it's fr 9am-4pm.. long hrs huh? but the money's good.. ;p will be back again soon..

family day


here's wat happened today:

1. got up at 6.30am [thank u RoZi baby..], got ready for werk by 7.25am, left the hse, met RoZi, reached werk at 7.57am, knocked off at 12.30pm.
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2. reached O'Briens at ard 1.25pm, waited for my sister to knock off at 3.32pm, met MuM & my BroTher there as well, left at 3.35pm for Capitol Building to settle his stuffs.
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3. fetched DaD at ard 4.30pm at Centrepoint, had lunch at ZamZam at abt 5.45pm , went shopping at Bugis till 8.25pm, headed for Forum.
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4. met Aim quite close to 9pm, walked down to Starbucks @ Somerset, went hm by 9.57pm.
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dat's thanks to the peaceful, most njoyable, lovely & long sleep dat i had the night before.. khehehe~ walkin does make one very tired it seems.. another mistake learnt: DO NOT WEAR WORKING SHOES IF U INTEND ON LONG WALKS & SHOPPING TRIPS..!

sumthin caught my eye as we were browsin for DaD's b'day-cum-Fathers' Day gifts at Centrepoint.. wont reveal it here yet though.. thought it would be a nice gift for my BaBy for his 24th b'day next mth.. although, it is still too early.. i can't wait to give it to him..! or mayb i'll juz give it to him the next tym i see my BaBy & get him another gift on the actual b'day itself.. *FICKLE!!* speakin of which, i miss my BaBy [again].. almost a week since i last saw him.. *SiGh* soOn.. pretty soOn..

untitled


already started on the REAL THING @ werk.. fortunately for me, my buddy wuz very, very helpful.. her name's Mastura but i juz call her Kak Mas for short.. FOR YOUR INFO, i'm not werkin @ any post office as most of u have assumed.. hehehe~ i'm doing Customer Service as in answerin of phonecalls from the public regarding Singapore Post's services.. get it now? so PLEASE people, i dun werk in a post office alright..?

had dinner wit stevie a few nyts ago @ cafe cartel.. look at what we had..!


SEAFOOD MADNESS!!

a platter for 3.. hehe~ managed to [almost] finish up the food & lucky for us, we skipped dessert.. khehehe~

speakin of food, my BaBy gave me a surprise by fetchin me fr werk one day & treated me to dinner @ Swensen's... dat wuz so sHweet of him..! it's one of those "once-in-a-while" kindda surprises that he tinks of sumtyms [lyk the tym he got me dis really pretty necklace with a very light brown stone pendant studded wit small diamonds..] luv u BaBy..! toO bad he doesn't read blogs.. doesn't really interest him.. headin for bed soOn..

madness..!


hey y'all..~ *sMiLeZ* went shoppin juz now wit MuM & aYuL.. bought a number of things today..! hehehe~ it wuz a last minute idea to go actually.. after i got hm fr BaBy's plc, aYuL wuz complainin dat her clothes are not enough for her attachment next mth, so we decided to go shoppin & dragged MuM along.. Oops..~ sorry MuM.. fortunately for us, citylink wuz havin dis Midnight Madness Sale so there were discounts everywhere.. very spoilt for choice..!

aniwae, no more duties for my BaBy..!~ yiPPiE..! so it's back to normal, regular shifts & i can get to see him as per normal.. *sMiLeZ* [again..] luv u BaBy!

will be startin werk @ 8am next wk.. *SiGh* but it's ok.. at least i get to knock off early, at 5pm.. cud catch up wit my tea drinkin @ Starbucks again if i'm not busy wit trainin @ bt batok.. geez.. only 2 more wks to the competition.. am i up for it? i dunno.. it's been a long tym..


here's what we got..

white top fr U2


turquoise top fr U2


red top fr U2


blue top fr U2


white checkered top fr GIORDANO


black blouse fr SPACE


black stripe pants fr ee:


brown pants fr ee:


shoes fr CHARLES & KEITH

why?


ARRGGHH..!! so sick & so tired..! it's not my fault if i missed him ryt? everynyt, w/o fail.. the last thing on my mind before i sleep.. honestly? i didn't slp the past 2 nyts, thinkin of him & wat i get in return? another argument..! i give up.. can't win any arguments with him.. no matter how hard i try.. king of arguements..

YET...
I still love my BaBy..
No matter how mean you are,
No matter how much you make me cringe,
No matter how much you hurt me..

Could never imagine
Going through the days without you,
The sleepless nights without you,
The stormy weathers you see me through,
The smiles you make when I'm blue..

Baby, I Love You..


BaBy & Me

bored on a sunday afternoon..


here i am, stuck at home with nuthin to do... mum & khair went out for sum jemputan, nurul's @ werk, & dad's outside watchin tv.. so much for family day.. hehehe~

aniwae, i gotta tell the truth.. it's really embarrasin but sumhow i have to let it out.. well, actually, on the 1st n 2nd day on the job, i kindda doze off in the middle of the trainin.. hehe~ lyk i've said earlier on, it wuz borin!! managed to grab tea/coffee at intervals of the trainin & stole some sweets fr my new frens juz to keep me awake.. thank goodness the sleepiness & boredom wore off on the subsequent days.. hehe~ terrible..!

aniwae, waitin for iDaDi to reach my plc.. slackin wit her today..

still missin my BaBy.. *SiGh*.. later..

I MISS U..


my baby.. :( i miss him.. it's only like 2 1/2 days..! wonder what he's doing now?

werk's so far so good.. more relaxed than O'Briens but the theory that i had to go thru is toO much..! my brain's cramped with mailing info [that includes freight, air parcels, courier services etc..] & customer service etiquettes.. sheesh.. it's lyk back-to-school for me.. dressin to werk is lyk dressin to poly only i have to be more "professional lukin" [& i wonder wat the diff is for me.. hehehe~]

i shall leave now but i'll be back again.. later..

finally..! yiPPiE..!


i got my NOKIA 7610 at last..! it's black though but i'll find the white housing somehow.. ;) i just had to buy it.. bought on impulse..*SiGh* but it's now or never.. hehehe~

HAPPY 5TH MONTHSARY TO MY BABY.. woah.. 5 months of ups & downs.. [more downs though..] i take dat as a positive critism actually.. werk on the plcs dat i've been ignorant in & try to make dis relationship really werk..

training at the new werkplc wuz really wearin me off.. in terms of boringness dat is.. i kept dozin off in the middle of "lessons" & dat's really not gd.. hhmm... not to worry, a few more days to go till i'm done wit the theory part & we'll start the new week wit the 'buddy-ing' part..

*SiGh* countin down the days till the guys leave for Cananda.. :(

yester-months..


it's my last day today @ O'Briens.. *SiGh* gonna miss the crazy people there.. MuMmY evelyn, sWeeT NiCky, spEaKeR RaSuL, bLur iKa, obscene ZuL.. my second family.. my place of solace weneva my FaiZaL werks the night shift.. gonna miss my regulars too.. danny boy, patrick, charles, shawn, connie, LYS, stevie & gang, my cute 'portugese-french' ham & cheese guy, my 'small white coffee' lady [& those i might have not mentioned.. hehehe~].. almost a year werkin there, so many gd & bad memories..

im gonna miss FaiZaL toO.. he'll be very bz for 2 wks.. stupid convention goin on at shangri-la & he has to be on duty.. hope he eats right & gets lotsa rests.. wouldn't wanna meet him 2 wks later to find out he's down to skin & bones [although he's really DASHING & looks DAMM DELICIOUS wen he's lean..]..

the smiles & laughters of yesterdays
friendships & family created
lingering memories of hapiness..

the tidal waves of emotions
affecting tsunami mood swings
depriving moments of lonliness..
imperfect as are human
overshadowed by kindness showered upon

i say thank you now
to those whom i shall miss
dearly loved..

disappointed


its payday today & i thought of getting the Nokia 7610 but alas.. some trouble with the Nokia 6260 that i bought from rashad.. sheesh.. broken dreams.. :( it is hard sellin off that phone bcuz of the condition it's in & the age of the phone... try harder, ida.. bcuz of that, me & FaiZaL kindda got mad at each other.. i hated him & he hated my guts.. didn't really talk from far east plaza until the point where we already reached bedok..

wuz very hungry [the both of us] so decided to drop by @ lucky plaza to eat at the top-most level foodcourt before we headed off to get the N7610 & juz as we reached the outside lift, i saw Pizza Hut & i practically dragged him into the restaurant... spent almost $60 on food itself! talk abt savings my dear!

i'm very disappointed.. no beautiful white Nokia 7610.. *sob**sob*

thoughts


amidst the clouds of grey sorrows,
lingers the smell of sweet caress
The hopes of smiling tomorrows,
a gift that none can surpass

"promises meant to be broken,
dreams sought to be shattered"

how does one live to face this?
a human nature that has no answer
for the hurt is hard to miss
yet it doesn't seem to matter..

you're my inspiration


lost the light of inspiration
slowly gave up the passion
broken-hearted, distracted
walk through life emaciated

ups & downs, happy & sad
unknown to you, inspirator..

as the mind wanders into land of imagination,
the heart found its way to reality..
thoughts of happiness,
feeling of encouragement,
the pen is lifted..

with passion, the pen dances
with stories of love,
tales of woes,
tears of joy,
cries of weakness...

u came back, inspirator..

new job..

guess what? i got the job @ SingPost thanx to my beloved best friend, iDaDi... luv u babe.. i'll b startin werk [hopefully] on the 2nd of june..

my pc & net's back up so i'll be in more often.. hehehehe~ good for me.. thought i've lost touch wit the cyber world forever..!

nuthin much to update though so i'll be back soon..

post-mothers' day dinner with special guest, TAUFIK BATISAH.. [hmm...]

mothers' day... wasn't dat due lask wk? aniwae, aBg invited us one family along wit the rest of my aunts & 1 uncle for dinner @ hyatt hotel.. shockin it seems cuz BaBa asked FaiZaL along... thank goodness he wuz ok wit the fact dat my relatives were gonna b there... had a great tym enjoyin the buffet spread & gettin teased fr my relatives [inclusive of aBg.. *sigh*].. well, talk later... tuckin in now...

at long last... a [late] promotion...

hey guys... juz found out 2day dat i got promoted to a TRAINEE SUPERVISOR... wow.. took them so long to fulfil their promise? well, better late then nvr...

birthday party turned disaster...

a happy 22nd birthday 2 me.. hehe~ [thick-skinned!] for the first tym, my FaiZaL celebratin my birthday with the family... hilarious but disasterous at the same tym..! got on the wrong note sumwhere.. dat's between MuM & FaiZaL baby.. long story cut short, MuM started the conversation with him by askin when he intends to propose to me! RIDICULOUS!!! surprisingly, BaBa & FaiZaL got along really well [must be the Cancerian-bond or sumthin...]

was so glad it wuz over after dinner.. felt dat MuM gave him a bad impression but had a talk wit my parents juz now & it seems lyk they are oOK abt us.. thank God..

aniwae, they got me dis Guy Laroche wallet & keypouch set & a VERY CUDDLY Winnie the Pooh bear..! thanx guys.. Luv u all..

angel baby

9 weeks, 3 days,
the only time you lived Baby...
i hate to let you go
but it's not time for you yet...
as sad as i am, i LOVE you lots
& so does Papa...
forgive me for not welcoming you dear
forgive Papa too for his negligance...
the whole time i had you, you've been good, Baby...
no fuss, no ailment, no trouble...
a God-sent that we can't have
it's a shame...
we love you, Baby...
[dedicated to 'an angel' unseen.. God bless it's soul in Heaven]

change of plans...


didn't go to KL.. the guys couldn't agree on certain things like where to go, when to leave for S'pore etc..etc.. i juz went wit the flow so wen FaiZal called the whole thing off, i juz had to agree.. instead, FaiZal, me, SaLikiN & his gerl, iKa went to SenTosa (again..) for an overnyt trip.. sunburn on my shoulders & my nose.. damm..

i myt be quittin my job @ O'Briens.. i'm beginnin to hate it there.. hate the crowds, hate the customers (not all though..), hate the management... i hate feelin tired everyday after werk.. got a recommendation fr iDaDi @ her werkplc.. hope i can juz leave soon.. *SiGh*

a life in form
as small as can be
tossin & turnin
uncomfortable it seems..

i'll write in soon... once i have the free tym.. btw, i'm goin for a small operation tmr (19th april 2005)... pray for me frens..

troubled..?


in deep shit.. it's really not my fault.. REALLY! i didn't ask dat 17 year old boy to fall head over heels wit me..! i'm absolutely innocent.. :( rashad.. rashad.. *HaIz* juz wished my pc wuz ok. it's damm troublesome for me to login from net cafes you noe..

so far so good.. still in luv wit my FaiZaL.. erm.. the sYeD one... hehehe~ he's kindda strict abt some stuffs but on the whole, dat's a good thing. he doesn't encourage me to smoke. in fact, weneva i do, he always has dis really fierce, "don't-push-it" look.. dat's enuff to make me put out my fag.. hehehe~ he doesn't encourage clubbin & drinkin too.. GoSh.. i've a good life boy!

juz healed a rift between me & BB.. after more den a month later, we finally found tym to sit down and we talked about differences.. turns out, she wuz pissed dat i wuzn't spendin time wit her as we usually do.. damm i missed her.. :( always on the opposite shift from her.. how? but now everythin's resolved & back to usual for us.. in fact, she's here wit me now.. hehe~ be back soon.. ;)