i'm not still a girl..

i'm not still a girl..

i'm goin to have my hair washed & blown for the X'mas party.. don't laugh..! at the end of the day, i'm still a girl afterall..

apparently me & Valerie [the new PA in Pru] are goin to be wearin the same top later.. what the..? well it's ok.. as i told her this mornin, we could go as twins or somethin.. haha.. corny eh..? so i decided not to wear the outfit that my sister's friend loan to me.. it's just too big.. i'm practically sweepin the floor as i walk & the top's hooks can be undone without me havin to do it myself.. it's that bad..

this month i'm very contented with my earnings.. yes, i jolly well earned it.. thanks to my colleagues for helpin me & aZMaN for his understandin.. *smiles*

right.. i'll be back with pictures.. till later..

to be or not to be..

to be or not to be..

this is it..

the countdown has started.. a year from now things are goin to take a turn.. plannin has started & i don't know how to describe the feelin.. anxiety? excitement? frustration? probably a mix of everythin..

it's a whole different take now.. i came back from holiday feelin refreshed but gradually it worn off & now it's back to square one.. feelin the tension of work again..

next week thursday's our X'mas Party & did i mention to you that the theme's "Bollywood"? thanks to my sister & her reliable contacts & resources, she managed to get a loan for me for the costume.. one of her colleagues has a suit that she's worn once & it comes with accessories as well so good for me.. haha.. i'll try to keep in mind to put up pictures of the party..

**good luck

refresh-ed!

refresh-ed!

so i'm back.. & i've become much more relaxed than usual.. so relaxed that i'm freakin myself out actually..

one trip i definitely won't forget.. the weather was good & it only rained in the evenin, after we've reached the hotel.. we didn't have enough time to fully explore & shop around anyway.. ironic enough, we didn't even go to the beach but our time was well-spent at the Khai Islands.. well, one thing for sure was that the beach was a little far from the hotel than i expected so it was worth it..

i will be back, that's for sure & the next time i decide to go back, i'm goin to make sure it'll be longer than just 3 days..

**enough said..

countin down the hours till..

countin down the hours till..

..i take my leave!

phuket here i come..! a vacation finally.. after 2 years of postponin my holidays, it's finally comin through..

**24 hours left..

along the lines of grace..

along the lines of grace..

wednesday...

started the day off with what was left of the torrent..

thank you.. very much indeed..

**desolate me..

contemplation

contemplation

it sucks..

BiG time..

it feels like they want to chase me out of this place..

*SiGh*

no worries.. maybe it means that i have to buck up.. or maybe i have to look for a greener pasture..?

**help me..

Beraya Bersama SinGLes_OuT '07

Salam Lebaran

Salam Lebaran

what a way to celebrate my Hari Raya this year..! "Great minds think alike.." that's what he said.. Guess who my Hari Raya date this year is..?



TA DA..!

yeap.. my one & only aBaNG.. *sigh* it was so funny because just as he reached MaMa's door & i turned around to greet him & MaK NoR, our jaws dropped & we pointed our fingers to each other & went like "Hey..!!" it was so hilarious..

this year's Hari Raya is pretty special.. sunday i actually went visitin with my brothers & also not forgettin my married sister.. *sigh* how i missed those childhood times.. it's been a couple of years since we last had a group outin.. normally we'd go visitin as individual families (which really sucks)..

yesterday i met aZMaN & i super-love his new haircut..! makes him look more serious than before, i have to say, but he's still the crazy MONG-ster that i know..

we had a sucky monday evenin, unfortunately, but there was a lesson that one of us has learnt from this "trick He played on us"..

**love you sayang..

appease

appease

overly excited.. that was how i felt yesterday, knowin that i'll be meetin the S_O ladies for iftar.. it's one of those gatherings that you look forward to each year where you'll get together for dinner or over coffee & fill one another in about what's happenin in our lives..

it's a meaningful one for me this year.. it's probably the 1st meet-up that we actually sat down after dinner & had serious conversations.. may it be a learnin process for us, now that we've learnt the meanin of true friends..

ladies, thank you for not being judgemental.. thank you for the understandin that you've showed.. 5 more months to our 5th aNNiVeRSaRy..

**today i woke up with a heavy heart.. last night i couldn't get to sleep.. i'm bearin the feelin of guilt & i don't know what to do..

i don't know if it's a good idea to call you..
i don't know if it's best to leave you alone..
all i know is that i'm very sorry & i'm hurtin inside because i really don't know what to do..

Getaway..!

Getaway..!



check out the pics from the links.. courtesy of iDaDi [most of it..]

i had the BESTEST weekend ever..! i had my 2 BESTEST buddies & my sister with me, chillin out at the porch, watchin the torch from the garden die one by one, doin silly things & laughin ourselves crazy.. what more can i ask for..?

my parents & my brother left for JB on friday.. iDa, my sis & myself left on saturday afternoon & we reached at about 6.30pm.. it was a long ride to the house.. slow movin traffic delayed the normally-2 hours-max journey but it was worth it.. we got donuts, ayam madu& soft drinks.. MuM cooked fishball soup & rendang daging & she also bought some other snacks.. gosh.. i can't continue..

after breakin fast, we sat around the living room & watch tv.. i was waitin in anticipation for aZMaN to arrive.. i thought he'd probably reach latest by 9.30pm but he was stuck at the JB immigration.. i shan't elaborate here though..

i think i'll stop here.. let the pictures do the talkin..

my wonderful weekend

my wonderful weekend

he cooked dinner last saturday.. i came over & had dinner with the family..

PhEw..!

i survived.. they are really nice folks.. am so lookin forward to meetin them again.. well, that would make it this thursday then.. hehe..

we went crazy at Plaza Singapura on sunday.. we bought baskets for my room, flowers for my mum & phone for the house.. not forgettin shoes, pants & shirts for him.. [somebody's got to look smart for work now so he has to dress accordingly..] we did all this for a full 6 hours..! as i've told you before dear, i never knew shoppin can be so fun..

conspiracy

conspiracy

had a fun "MonteSSori" last wednesday.. headed down to East Coast for dinner which was, to me, a little unconventional.. he made dinner so it didn't really matter to me what i was actually stuffin down my guts..

the moon was full, the wind was just nice & the weather was perfect..



i really enjoy havin conversations with him.. i love his company.. i appreciate his thoughts.. i like the attention.. hehe..~

just as you thought everythin was perfect, the ex-es had to ruin everythin..! conspiracy..?

one was tryin to rub salt into the wound while the other one was tryin hard to find fault.. tough luck suckers.. you guys have got to try much, much harder than that, right love..? it got us thinkin, why must the both of them "appear" at the same time..?

the ex-es from hell..

happy 21st to my One & Only SISTeR..!!

happy 21st to my One & Only SISTeR..!!

finally she's 21 but still not grown up yet.. you know what i mean.. haha.. even my mum said so..

aZMaN & me got her a Nike watch, not exactly the white one that she wanted but a smaller version which came in baby blue & purple.. i know she doesn't like it as much as the white one but what say does she have, right..? hehehe.. aDiK got her "Restaurant Empire".. cool game, haven't tried but will soon.. BaBa & MuM got her 2 pairs of jeans & unfortunately i can't fit into them.. darn it.. can't share.. we had a small celebration, pizza for dinner & a chocolate truffle cake..

anyway, here's VaNeSSa buried in namecards last Friday.. enjoy..!

you made my day..

you made my day..

as you've mentioned in your msg to me this morning, we did spent the weekend together.. i wouldn't have realised it if you hadn't told me..

anyway, thank you for droppin by yesterday with the wonderful tikka/butter chicken i'm so glad you could make it to break fast with my family.. when's my turn..? hehehehe...

*5 more weeks to our lil' getaway...

**i love you, dear...

my significant half..

my significant half..

i was not angry when i wrote yesterday's entry... i guess some of you thought that i was.. hehe.. as i mentioned, i was just tryin to get my msg across to that SIGNIFICANT someone.. you know who you are..



last saturday, we went to the National Museum to catch a Japanese movie.. i don't know exactly what the genre of the movie was but i did find it quite hilarious [& ended just in time for us to break fast..] & as how aZMaN put it as "witty for an old movie"..

lookin forward to more visits & outings with you..! don't forget our date to the Arts Museum this friday dear.. after which we shall have delicious naan [i'll have the garlic ones], tandoori chicken & ice kacang for dessert.. we can then go to Dome & make fun of the baristas there.. do make me a latte this time dear..? i don't want another flat white..

**i love you, sayang..

stupid assumptions...

stupid assumptions...

everyday i keep tellin you the same thing.. over & over again till your ears can't take it, your brain just want to scream "I GET THE MSG!" but i can't help it.. it's just like 50 First Dates, i wake up fallin in love with you all over again.. i can't get enough of you & it doesn't help that time's not always on our side...

over time, i've learnt the meanin of patience & resistance but to put it into practice with you, it's pretty hard.. your irresistible & i have limited patience.. 6 years (3 years, minus the disappearances, engagements etc..) of waitin & hopin is more than enough to drive 1 crazy..

if fate was unfair, we won't keep meetin each other at the oddest situations.. think about it.. what's the odds of us bumpin into each other, when either of us was engaged & havin issues with each other's partners, TWICE? i'm her nemesis & he's threatened by your presence, how perfect was that?

enough said..

2nd day

2nd day

*yawns*

it's 3:48pm & here i am sittin in AiDa's seat feelin sleepy & helpless.. TGIF..!

i can't help it & it's only the 2nd day of Ramadan..! i don't like the new lady here.. she's just so annoying..

i'm sorry

i'm sorry

sometimes things don't look as easy as they may seem. you may think that the person you've been with or have known for the longest time may know you inside out & vice versa but that's not the case for many..

you might know what her favourite colour is or how he takes his coffee but there might be small details that could have been left out.. funny as it may seem but even a couple who's been married for 20 or even 30 years have their own fair share of differences and squabbles..

all i'm tryin to put across is that you should never assume that you know everythin & what everyone thinks & feels.. i did & i learnt my lesson..

i'm sorry my dear..

left & right

left & right

waited for more than a year for my 23rd birthday wish to come true...






the ESSENTIAL 2 that i can't live without..

crazy monster..!

crazy monster..!

i had an incredible weekend..! managed to take my mind off a couple of stuffs including the pain on Friday... had a magnificent Saturday morning, fantastic afternoon & a lovely evening... so many things to do yet so little time but at least the time didn't pass by as fast as my lunch time...

i finally got to go to Sentosa after so long... have to go before the fasting month starts... i've never had the chance to go due to circumstances & somebody's personal preferences but now i can finally enjoy the things that i've always loved doing..

fill in later..

speechless..

tired-ness

tired-ness


Bowling Day..

exhaustion:

- mentally
- physically
- emotionally

that's it.. lookin forward to the short break on the 7th of september.. hopefully it'll help clear the grey clouds in my head..

heard my aBaNG has a show there, happened that there's tickets available & my parents told me to accompany them so why not.. jeez.. now i feel like a lamp post.. thanks to my parents..

i feel like givin up.. on what..? EVERYTHIN! complications has been aroused.. misunderstandings has been created.. that's why i'm tired..! overrated but who cares..

is it so hard to put things back how there were before..? is it so hard to grasp the concept of communicatin & understandin each other..? is it so difficult for you to actually STOP THINKIN ABOUT YOURSELF & BE CONSIDERATE TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU..? i don't want to talk about this anymore.. i've tolerated long enough.. i swallowed my pride, thinkin that i was makin the right move by being with you but you have disappointed me.. how do we work this out..?

i don't know

& i don't want to know...