to turn..

"just another set back.." she said, trying her hardest not to sigh. the emotional roller coaster ride seemed never ending.

with the blink of an eye, the end of 2009 is drawin near.. so what have we achieved..?

nothin much, or rather, NOTHIN on my end.. hopes dashed, followed by clutters of uncertainties.. i'm tryin my best to push myself and most of the time my feeble attempts of applyin 'Self-Motivation' to make it through the day proves futile..

i hate to say this but i think i'm losin THAT side of me.. the side which always triggers the happy thoughts each time i feel a storm comin.. the side which stops the tears from wellin and the anger from eruptin..

i was lookin forward to a greater and better year but sometimes lookin is just not enough.. physical impairments were inevitable and denied me of so many things.. it started from a small scratch [which proved occupationally fatal..] to what seems like a long-term infliction and the best part is i don't know when it will get better..

i am wishin and prayin very, very hard that this whirlwind of events will end soon.. it is too painful to swallow everythin at one go.. strangely, i still find it difficult to adapt to these changes even after all these months.. very unlike me..

i had my goals but they were obstructed and back to the bottom i went but i know i will scale my way up again somehow.. it took me three years to get to where i graciously was and i'm sure i'll be able to attempt that feat again..

i need the drive and motivation and i've misplaced it somewhere.. please help me take my mind off these things..

**i thank YOU for grantin me my only place of solace with my HuBBy dearest.. he has been the only wonderful thing that happened to me and please do not take that away from me too..