mornin...

haven't been sleepin... so tot i'd juz pop in & say gd mornin to u guys... actually i gotta werk later @ 11 but wat the heck... it's friday for goodness' sake... mayb me & SunShine gonna mit zuL later... kindda miss my brO... wonder how's he been @ police academy the last 2½ days... khehehehe~ actually i'm juz cheerin myself up... *SiGh* am i dat bad-tempered? u decide for me...can?

happy [30 min late] burfdae to me...

phew... i'm 21..? already? khehehe~ aniwae, a BIG THANK U to the peeps hu called / msged me wit ur b'dae msgs... really, really appreciate dem... *SmiLeS* wOw...! didn't noe dat many peeps remembered 2604... khehehe~ no offence guys...

well, wat a way to kick off my b'dae... it wuz my 1st day at werk [again] & thank goodness those people didn't give me such a hard tym... after werk, met SunShine, went for dinner & after dat, a quiet rendezvous... thanx for the gift, hunney... i really love 'em... *MuakZ!*

aBg zul called me..! wished me happy b'dae... so sHweet of him... haven't seen him for a really long tym... gosh! i really haf to introduce him to SunShine one of these days... i noe they'll hit off very well... khehehehe~ aight guys... tym 4 me to take my leave now... gotta werk tmr... buenos noches everyone...

SORRY
Just as the Sun was to shine again
Just as the rainbow was to appear
A mistake I made has now caused the pain
Thorough sadness now glooms with fear
A fear that is not of profound guilty
But of the thought of being left again
I'm now all drowned in self-pity
Like a flower in a flood of rain
Uttering apologies, on my knees I pray
For your forgiveness is all I need
If no is your answer, I'll be on my way
& I know I need not anymore plead...

can i?

i'm not in the right state of mind now... i really dunno wat's happenin to me... i wanna run away from all this...! run away from all the things that make my mind overloaded...! i tink wat i nid is a LONG, LONG vacation... sumwhere where people can't find me... where i can b alone; b by myself... the word JOBLESS kips hauntin me & i'm really scared... even SunShine can't help me in dis... if i had loads of money, i'd b havin my manic depression now... come to think abt it, i am sufferin from manic depression now but there's nuthin i can do abt dat, can i? i can't eat ryt, slp ryt or even tink ryt...

can i run away...?

step into the real world & you shall see
the painful truth that is as true as could be
one that is kept unknown for as long as time can seal
only when the right time, the truth shall be revealed...

el sentimiento miserable

tot april wud b a glorious mth for me... i'd b turnin 21 soon, tot of splurging my pay [i'm talkin abt REAL SPENDIN here!] on myself for my birthday but things juz had to turn nasty... everyday, wakin up is a torture... havin to let the reality sink in abt being jobless really hurts... there goes my hope to study...

money's runnin out fast... i've been in depression-mode all week long eversince i stepped-out of the fuckin shop down at robinson rd... i'm really sorry to all those hu were unfortunate to have crossed my unglamourous temper especially to my SunShine hu goes thru it everyday... but thanx for being there for me... really appreciate the tot... thank God ur still here or i myt be tearin my hair out ryt at dis moment...

got to go... haf somemore depression stuffs to tink abt... pray hard i won't b bald the next tym any of u c me... adios guys...

desolation

the shittest thing happened to me again... dat bastard edwin dismissed me from o'briens... i dun wish to go into details abt y he did it cuz it's all pointless... i'm jobless again & i'm left wit abt $300 to last me until God noes wen, i have 3 bills to settle & i can't tink straight...!

stupid...

supposedly a happy 4th monthsary to SunShine... as i'm writin this, i'm havin a bad stomache... damm it... i juz put down the phone wit SunShine & i'm pretty mad abt it... mayb i'm bein unreasonable, mayb i'm juz plain selfish but i wanna talk to u... not chat abt how lovely this shoe luks or how nice dat cap wud luk on me... it's bad enuf dat my stomach givin me problem & i can't find my gallaz origin shoes... ahhhh... nvm... shit... can't blame u for dat, too sleepy huh from the night b4? well... boys night out to hardrock right? forget it... gonna haf my medicine & i tink i'm off to sleep...

tanned

my whole body's achin... went to sentosa wit SunShine & zuL yesterday... reached palawan beach ard 11am, had breakfast & took a short swim after... then i laid on the sand from 12.30 in the afternoon till abt 2pm then had lunch & continued swimmin wit SunShine & zuL... felt thirsty so went up to the shore, had a drink & continued tannin until abt 4 & then went swimmin again for the last tym & after which we showered & left... now im blazin all over... *SiGh* but hey... at least i get to spend tym wit SunShine :)