questions procrastinated

questions procrastinated

i've always looked up to you as someone who i call my brother but at some moment in time, as we grew up i saw another part of you that i still can't put a finger to. i knew it wasn't just a "cousin thing" but i put it off time & time again.

up to this point of time, before i commit myself to somethin that i know can't change once i've agreed on, i just want you to know that you mean the world to me & you're more than just a big brother. i don't wish to make a huge mistake so all i want to do now is to tell you the whole truth & i want to know what's your take on this.

it's been 4 years, Abang, & i'm not goin to waste anymore time because i think i've put it off for too long.

i saw the look on your face last night & it gave me the thinkin that you're unhappy & resigned. you can lie to your friends, Abang, but i don't think you can lie to me.

Phantom of The Opera

Phantom of The Opera



SYNOPSIS

Broadway's longest-running and most popular musical, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, returns to Singapore for a strictly limited season in March 2007.

Andrew Lloyd-Webber's phenomenal hit first burst onto the London stage 20 years ago, and continues to play to full houses nightly in London, New York and around the world. THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA has been seen by over 80 million people worldwide, has been performed in more than 20 countries, has won over 50 major theatre awards, and has grossed more than S$5 billion.

With 130 cast, crew and orchestra members, spectacular sets and more than 230 costumes, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA contains some of Andrew Lloyd Webber's most famous and stirring music, including "The Phantom of the Opera" and "Music of the Night".

simply superb.. was worth watchin.. if i had the means, i'd bring the whole cast home with me & i can watch it every single day..!

oh it's nothin.. just a mental breakdown..

oh it's nothin.. just a mental breakdown..

i got hurt recently.. & i still feel hurt.. it's probably just my ego.. maybe it got scratched.. or maybe i'm just over sensitive.. you know how women are these days right..?

he said i praise my very good friends so high up that i'm beginin to sound like i worship them..! how interesting.. probably i did but i guess i'm insecured.. haha.. hmm.. let me see.. just to refresh my memories, these are the "WHOLE LOTSA FRIENDS" that i have who i'm OH-SO-ALWAYS constantly in touch with:

- iDaDi
- SinGLeS_OuT
- Servcorp Pru Team

that's a lot isn't it..? WOW! that's a lot of very good friends i have..! i'm so freakin occupied with them & they are 24/7 in my mind that he must have felt neglected.. poor baby.. i'm sorry.. i promise i won't talk about them anymore, ok? sorry dear..!

..how about an extended memory?

..how about an extended memory?

yeap.. that's probably what i want for my birthday this year.. an extended memory size for my BRAIN that is..! another case of information overload.. *SiGh*

been so occupied at work lately [like what's new, right..?] with what, i'm clueless myself.. all i can remember is that i'm readin through materials & doin a little hands-on on secretarial stuffs such as welcome packs, different types of virtual packages & things like that.. doesn't sound heavy but add this to my normal daily routine & what you get is pain in the brain.. it's awful i tell you..

been learnin how to do some of the other closings for invoicin & such too.. i'm tryin to remind myself to remind my brain to take a break but apparently i keep forgettin to do so.. i probably should get more sticky notes or somethin..

anyway, aYuL managed to recover the pictures from S_O's 4th Anniversary.. i'll put them up as soon as i can..

back to school

back to school

i'm starting my classes [again] in April.. if everythin is confirmed, my 1st class will be starin on the 24th of April & the 2nd class would be on the 27th.. i can't wait to go back to school..!

has been hectic at work recently.. it's probably just me, i guess.. to the extent that i dream of work & people at work, i think that's a little too much.. by the way, the painkillers (for my feet) from Raffles Medical works very well.. i think i'll get more from my doctor..

on a personal side, i don't know if what i'm doin is right.. i'm just followin my instincts & my heart..

last week my mind was constantly thinkin of somebody.. it was very bad & it wasn't like as if i wanted to think of that person.. it just happens.. well, no more occurrence so i'm almost certain it was just a phase..

**i love you..!

365 days ago..

365 days ago..

i survived..! i managed to keep myself safe today.. no falls, no broken back, no fractured feet.. hehehehe..~

..& it happened again

..& it happened again

yet another fun & fruitful evening with the s|nGLeS_OuT ladies.. well, as usual meetin up has never been "normal".. the ladies should know what i mean.. hehehe~

on our 2nd anniversary, i can still remember how my sandals came apart just as aYu "fetched" me from work.. i had no choice but to hobble back to O'briens & grab another pair of available shoes.. guess what happened on this year's anniversary.. that's right..! my sandals came apart AGAIN..! i called aYu to rescue me from embarrassment & together we went scourin for somethin for my feet.. notice that it only happens when i meet aYu..? i should probably NOT meet her first the next time..

went down to M.A.C to meet up with s|zzY & told e-BoO that we'll see her there.. while waitin for her, we were makin jokes about how she would turn up at McDonald's instead of M.A.C & obviously we were right..! she called aYu & asked where we were & told us that she was already at McD's.. hehehehe~ that's just so her..

had dinner at Sakura, Far East.. almost walloped the waiter for gettin our orders wrong.. thank goodness the ladies were around or i might have just stormed out from there.. geez.. strolled down to Party World beside Crown Prince Hotel & spent a solid 4 hours singin our lungs out..! at the end of it all, our anniversary was a blast..

love you girls..

**pictures please.. my camera ate the pictures up.. *sigh*

Happy 4th Anniversary To My Special Ladies..!

Happy 4th Anniversary To My Special Ladies..!

WE'RE 4 YEARS YOUNG..! CONGRATULATIONS TO s|nGLeS_OuT..!

waitin with much anxiety to see you ladies later.. it's another one of those rare opportunities that we meet up, hang out & have fun.. don't forget your camera[s] ladies..!

anyway, here's a big welcome to our NEW Servcorp blog.. take a sneak peek into the typical "a day in the life of.." in Servcorp, specially brought to you by us.. hehehehe..

i'm keepin it as simple as possible so that the ladies can blog in their entries easily.. such a coincidence that Servcorp decided to change the colour theme to the same blogskin colour that i chose [blue & orange].. synergy..? hmmm..

breather

breather



jambu-jambu naik lori,
matair pulak dengan matrep.
boring-boring gigit jari,
kalau tak gigit, makan grape!


*thanks sis for the 1st two-liners.. this is the end product when 2 sisters get bored from a dreaded long cab ride..

bimbotic-ness

bimbotic-ness

you know, i just don't literally get it sometimes.. maybe this is what they call life; full of ups & downs, clear skies & obstacles, expect the unexpected etc.. personally, when times are cool, they are really cool but when things heat up, they just tend to blown out of proportion which leaves a big, gooey, ugly mess in my already-muddled-&-very-messed-up head..

you guys out there.. YES YOU! what i don't get is, why are you guys so freakin fickle?? you say we girls can't make up our minds but HEY listen up, i've got my fair share of knowledge from being around you creatures too long & i jolly well dare to say that you guys are no better than us.. in fact a bunch of you clowns are much, much more pro at this fickle game.. & some of you.. why can't you just let go of the past?? what happened before is now called HISTORY..! don't be such idiots, alright? get over it, MOVE ON.. geez..

sorry for blastin.. just needed to clear my mind..

"it's funny only when it happens to someone else.."

"it's funny only when it happens to someone else.."

the familiar phrase.. the trademark that never failed to irritate me but at the same time makes me smile..

he resurfaced.. he BLOODY well resurfaced after all these months.. but all's good between us now.. i think.. i hope.. i've learnt to let go & tried to pick myself up when he disappeared [again].. the only place i could seek solace & words of advice was from HaiZiR.. thanks bro, for the sound advice.. appreciate that..

anyway, a year ago, on this very day, i remembered how my day was spent.. although it wasn't a day for celebration for us, i enjoyed myself very much & i'm sure he did too.. i recalled how it was such a coincidence that our off day happened to be on the 14th & that we had wanted to go do somethin "artsy" by ourselves.. in the end, we went to the Singapore Philatelic Museum & The Substation to watch short films together..

whatever..

justification..?

justification..?

sometimes it's hard to please everyone especially when EVERYONE is under pressure & they expect SOMETHIN from you all at the same time..

as much as i don't want to appear ungrateful, i might already have.. not that i want to but as i have mentioned above, it's so hard to please everyone.. i don't even know if i have made the right decisions so far.. knowin myself, i'm bound to regret a lot of things..

i don't know how to apologise to a very good friend who, i know, i've hurt so much..
i don't know if i've met the right person or the path that i choose is the one that i REALLY want to follow..
i don't know what's goin on actually..

1st issue - maybe i just didn't like the fact that everybody was assumin that we are a couple but that was like ages ago.. maybe i'm just haunted by it.. up till now, i can't stand it when anyone makes a joke out of this matter.. it just makes me so mad..! somehow, i'm so scarred by it but i don't understand why.. he's helped me so much, he was always there during the FALL period & he hasn't done anythin wrong but i JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I CAN'T LET THINGS BE AS THEY WERE..?

2nd issue - i'm gettin the cold feet suddenly.. i have no doubts about him because i know what he is really into & it's definitely not GIRLS.. just that sometimes i feel pressurized with the current situation to the extent that i can't even think.. i just wish that he can really, really understand..

gimme a break..

breakin my back..

breakin my back..

i don't wish to whine but it's the truth.. my back hurts..! all the shiftin, pushin & pullin of furnitures yesterday has made me broken..

HaNN got into an accident this mornin.. don't know what to do.. cross my fingers & pray hard that YvoNNe approves of my half-day leave today..

½ of ½ is..?

½ of ½ is..?

i finally threw away the Fossil watch yesterday.. i had kept it thinkin that i would change the strap or somethin but yesterday i took a long look at the watch & decided "heck.. i'll get myself another Fossil.."

yesterday i went to AiN's weddin @ her place in serangoon.. was surprised to see her in the outfit.. she was smaller then i expected..! the decoration was simple but nice.. the colour combination was not really my taste but all in all, it was ok.. had wanted to take pictures with her but there were too many guests so RaJa, HaNN & myself decided to take our leave..

i had initially wanted to go to my relative's weddin @ pasir ris but when i thought of how HaNN would get bored at home by himself, i decided not to & spend the rest of the afternoon with him shoppin.. well, HE was shoppin, not me.. managed to get for himself a pair of jeans & a shirt.. we are, afterall, simple shoppers.. *WiNkZ*

found a pretty black lace top @ bugis.. going to grab that once i get my pay.. speakin of bugis, we went to collect the ring yesterday.. just last friday we went to the jewellers to make the payments & at the same time do a fitting.. i didn't know i had such a small ring-finger.. hehehe˜ so confidently, i asked for a size 10 which, obviously, was too loose so the lady looked at my finger & suggested that i go for a size 8.. unwillingly, i agreed but hey, it fit! i gave the thumbs up & we got the ring..

preparations' still underway.. i've not done any calculations whatsoever but in time to come.. so many things to take note of.. lucky i have iDaDi to help me..

today AuDReY is actin rather STRANGE... must be somethin in the food that she ate this mornin.. SIGH.. [if you see any typo-errors in this entry, must have been AuDReY's fault..]

tense.. & patience

tense.. & patience

i didn't know marriage can be such a pain.. so so many things to do & prepare! GOSH! havin never been there before, it does sound interestin but how does one actually find the space to breathe?

first things first, how do you know that you are ready for it? & when you are, how do you go about doing all the preps & stuffs? some people take a few years to do all these but some get married within a year or 2.. & there's also the objections from some members of the family & hurdles & barriers to go through.. even as i'm readin what i just typed makes me tired..!

but on the other hand, i have to say marriage is a beautiful thing.. no matter how grand or simple the whole affair is, i believe that at the end of the day the happiness of the couple is what's most important..

why am i talkin about this? i don't know.. just felt like it i guess.. tell me, if you were a parent & you have a daughter how much would you ask for a dowry..?

My Hopeful 2007

My Hopeful 2007

HELLO 2007! Happy New Year to everyone..

it has been a very challengin 2006 for me.. from the trails of entries, i'm pretty much sure you know what i'm talkin about.. 365 days ago, i was typin in my entry elsewhere & was in the midst of my exams.. what a way to start 2006.. & then there was the job hunt & the matchmakin plot which didn't work out..

from the reunion of best friends to the reunion of 2 hearts [that never made the headlines..] THE FATAL FALL..! the neverendin quest to get the cast removed.. geez.. the far away friend who filled my nights.. OH! World Cup! let's not forget that..

well, so many things had happened & i don't think i can recall each & every detail.. whatever it is, they have passed & it's time to look forward to a brand new year.. new job, new friends, new colleagues, new sayang..so many new things..!

anyway, i had to bring forward last year's resolutions due to unforseen circumstances [if you know what i mean..]

1 - get myself a job
2 - pay off my bills [not all's paid up though..]
3 - get my driving license [erm.. this year probably..? hehe..]
4 - complete my Diploma course [by this year.. i promise!]
5 - FINALLY find a real guy to settle down with [FOUND!]

on a final note, here's wishin everyone a joyful 2007.. stay away from wet staircases, do not cross the road while SMS-ing & PLEASE avoid breakin any bones.. take it from me, it's no fun at all..

The Apple Tale

The Apple Tale

WARNING! what you are about to read is based on a true incident. all names have been changed to protect the dignity of the shamed man..

hehehehe... nah.. just kiddin.. i'm pretty much over it.. what actually happened was that the apples that i buy for the pantry runs out in matters of minutes & it irks me so much that i had to find out who the culprit was.. when i finally found out who the person was, i got so pissed off with him that i gave him the cold shoulder.. BUT..! being the kind hearted person that i am, i cooled off eventually..

anyway, a late Merry Christmas to all of you out there who celebrated it.. i personally don't celebrate Christmas but this year was a little different.. i attended my very 1st Christmas party organised by my company, a Christmas dinner held by Persequor, a client from our floor & a Christmas lunch, again by my company.. in total, i had 4 Christmas presents.. i received a Nokia 6233 & Nokia 7390 from Persequor alone, a goldplated cuff from YvoNNe & a black purse from my Secret Santa Pal.. nice..

oh.. i have another present from HaNN.. He bought me a pair of shoes.. they are not JUST a pair of shoes but a pair that i eyed on 2 months back & the special thing about it is that he remembered which pair & the colour.. he's such a darling..! must remember to pay him 20 cents or he'll walk away from me.. [erm.. a superstition that AuDReY has nagged to me about.. *SiGh*]

still not pickin up..

still not pickin up..

how contradictin that i am able to write an entry in here when i am actually buried with work.. i just need a short break from this hustle.. too much & overloaded, that's the situation now..

facin selfish people who are just so greedy for money that they can stab you right in your face! despicable..!

i'm havin the Hottdesk re-test today.. as mentioned, information overload.. don't know if i can pull this off..

what went wrong..?

what went wrong..?

i'm feelin down in the dumps.. things don't seem to go right somehow.. i got 78% for my Hottdesk re-test which means that i would have to re-take again.. don't know if i mentioned this before but 1 of the requirements to get a confirmation is to obtain 80% for the Hottdesk.. so near yet so far..

i wish i can spill out my thoughts & feelins but i can't.. i hope it doesn't build up inside..

met iSMaiL yesterday.. wish we could talk more.. it's been such a long time since i sat down & really express myself to a close friend.. i'm happy that he's doin great with his girl..

too much.. can't take it.. i just want to be by myself..

my upsettin Friday..

my upsettin Friday..

it's really upsettin.. i was late for work again & to top it off, MuM & BaBa had to yell at me over the phone just because i left my keys at home & they are not comin back until at least tomorrow.. worst case scenario, they'll only be back on sunday.. i was at my worst behaviour.. i hung up on not only my sister but also on my parents.. totally regret what i did.. i'm contemplatin on gettin a locksmith to open my doors.. i would rather spend that money on the doors than goin back to anybody's place.. as long as i'm not home, i will not be at peace.. pretty f**ked up Friday..